Only in England can you get away with wordsmithing or otherwise using the english vocabulary to its fullest. A friend of mine pointed me to this Man of Mystery story that is unfolding near Turnbridge Wells, however my obligatory tangent comes first:
[T]he spa town of Royal Tunbridge Wells is a place full of charm, leisure and relaxation, The Pantiles; for shoppers, the Pantiles is a haven of pretty boutiques, The Hop Farm; Hop Farm is a great family country park, and a relaxing day out, Scotney Castle; there's also the historic and very picturesque Scotney Castle, only a short drive away, Hever Castle; if you'd like to step back into yesteryear, you can visit Hever Castle, the home of Anne Boleyn as well as William Waldorf Astor. Lose yourself in the maze, or explore the house and gardens.What menace would possibly befall such a quaint town? Thanks to the help of a Caped Crusader, Evil and it's brother, Very Evil have their days numbered:
A MYSTERIOUS caped crusader has launched a mission to wipe out crime — on the streets of Tunbridge Wells. The masked hero is the talk of the sedate Kent town after a series of rescues and good deeds.KAPOW! He chased away a group of young thugs hurling abuse at a woman in the town centre.
BIFF! The do-gooder scared off a gang of yobs chasing a man through the picturesque Pantiles area.
HOLY mackerel! Another woman was stunned when a young man in cloak and mask tapped her on the shoulder and said she had dropped her purse.
So far no one has any idea who he is.
Student Ellen Neville, 21 — who witnessed the first rescue — said: “A masked man rushed past me to assist the woman.
“He swept in, broke up the commotion and ran off. It was hilarious.”
Chase victim Peter Norfolk said: “I thought I was going to get a real beating when suddenly this man arrived. He saved me, but didn’t even stop to give his name.”
Ruth Barker, who had her purse returned, said: “If only there were more people around with this kind-hearted spirit.”
Police said: “This man should be applauded. He simply wants to carry out some good deeds. We have no idea who he is.”
DO YOU know the caped crusader of Tunbridge Wells? Call us on 0207 782 4105.
Since we're on the subject of retribution and 'justice,' my amigo Jason Ditz put together a quick post regarding a rather amusing essay from H.L. Mencken. Check it out.
Posted by Tim at May 5, 2003 11:30 PM | TrackBack