June 02, 2004
Are those ants in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
What goes creep in your East African night? What frightens venomous scorpions into fleeing with their tail between their legs? What can consume a large marsupial (possibly an Almiqui) in two shakes of a lambs tail?
If you answered, Pee-wee Herman or Ernest Worrell for any of the above, you're a sick sick individual.
The Driver ant is of course, the correct answer. These bitchin' blind six-legged creatures redefine the rules of the food chain. As I briefly discussed their cousins in my abbreviated ode to MacGyver.
After watching "Killer Ants" on the Discovery Channel today these mofos are in need of a major image make-over as they have many beneficial qualities in addition to their painful poisonous pinchers: they can cook, clean and create carbon-copies of themselves (50,000 no less) all in one rotation of terra firma.
So have you hugged a Formicidae today?
